I’m feeling terrible.
I’m feeling terrible.
i am going to have to make some big decisions in the next year and it’s going to be hard since we’re not on the same page. i am going to go off, at the age of 23, with people still setting restrictions on my life. it’s not what i want. i want to be able to make life and career decisions with you. i am not used to someone telling me that it’s not okay if i live there or here. or with you.
i just want to be happy. i am not asking for marriage or kids, yet. i just want to be able to begin building my life with you. my life will be going on in a different direction, but i am left to wait. why can’t we take the easy, logical route? because there are people who think we will fail.
but i have enough faith in us, i just wish you could see that.
i am really seeing the lasting impressions that emotional and physical abuse leaves.
I couldn’t be happier to be with you. I am happy to be able to say that I can stand by your side for the rest of my life. I don’t need a ring or marriage to solidify the lifetime that we will share. You are absolutely the most amazing person that I have encountered in my life. I know that God made you for me for so many reasons. I have never been so close to someone. I am able to talk to you, lean on you, cry on you, and depend on you. I have never felt more secure and safe. You are a good person, you have heart and passion. You are Godly and understand that I have dreams too. You are kind and loving. You understand me and my troubles. You see me as a human, not an object. There are times when I think about you and I get so emotional, but a good kind of emotional.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you, because I can’t see myself living with anyone else, giving myself fully to them. I want you, because you saved me.
I love you and I am so thankful for you.
I think this trip home really helped me to appreciate all that I have in life. God has given me a life to be happy about and thankful for. Life can really end in an instant. I was thinking about the thought of death. And I have come to peace with leaving this place. Heaven is a place where I can watch over everyone and where I can feel constant warmth and comfort. Why should I be afraid of that. Heavenly Father is here watching over me, making sure that I continue on the path to Him.
I am thankful for everything that I have encountered in my lifetime. Though at times I can be impatient, I know that I have had many experiences in my lifetime already. Some not so good, but they are experiences that I took something from. As I get older, I can see the lasting consequences of poor decisions and mistakes. Mistakes are good in most cases, but when you don’t learn from them, they can leave lasting impacts that aren’t always the greatest.
No matter where I end up in life, I want to be able to say that I did a lot. I did what made me happy and I loved with my entire self.
I am going to make sure that I leave this world a good person.
I worry too damn much.
Have wedding and baby fever. Bad.
I really need to motivate myself.