There once was a girl who didn’t believe in much of anything. She was living in a dark, dark place. Tears would fill her pillow every night. She hated herself for how the one before would make her feel. She felt like nothing, so worthless that her family wouldn’t even bother to care if she reached out. She didn’t believe in herself. She didn’t know where to go. She was lost and in a place where there was no one there to help. She tried thinking of ways to end her depression, to end this pain that she felt in her heart and soul.
In that same night she thought of ways to end it all, she looked up and found that light, the light that she was always told about. God had found her. She had now understood what being ‘saved’ could feel like. She asked for answers and He provided them, even quicker than she could ever imagine. For the first time in her life she felt pure and safe. She had never experienced or felt this amazing feeling before. She cried. She sat back against her door and wept. But it wasn’t a sad cry, it was a cry from hope. She had finally felt something.
She began to put Him first, before anything in her life. Hope was something that was now so real to her. She made a couple of mistakes along the way, but asked for forgiveness and received it. She would listen to sermons about what Godly men were and where you could find them. She began to understand what she was worth and what she deserved. She finally saw the decisions in her past were all mistakes, because she didn’t have the faith and guidance of Him.
She would pray every night and ask God to help her find her way back to the path, the path that was made for her. He had given her nothing but answers. He placed in her path an amazing fella who would change her life forever. When she would look at him, she would get butterflies. She thought that he was the most handsome person in the entire world. She had only just seen him and knew nothing more about him, but she knew that she wanted him. She felt something. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was feeling just yet, but she knew that she was supposed to be right there at that time. She first had fear that this man was too good for her and she would never amount to what he deserved in someone else. He wanted her back. She couldn’t believe it.
Days went by and they continued to talk and become closer. She couldn’t believe how fast she was falling for him. She thought that guys like this only existed in those fairy tales that she would watch as a kid. He could make her smile every single day.
Now, she had other guys before. but not ever did any of them make her feel like this. She had been with guys who cared more about their sport team or abusive jerks who would treat her with no respect. Then, on the day of her 21st birthday she blew out her candles. All that she wished for that night was him. It was the only thing that she wanted for her birthday. The next few days became the best days of her life, when it was made official. She could call herself his girl.
The first kiss was magical. She wanted to kiss him all night, but was too afraid to make the first move. She remembers how it felt when his lips touched hers. She got butterflies like she never thought were real. She felt like she was floating, weightless. She had never had a first kiss quite like this one. She got even more than she had wished for.
When she went to church with him, everything was proven to her. This is who she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with. She felt closer to him. She felt connected to him. She prayed and prayed. The only answer she received was that this is where she belonged. Not once did she feel out of place. She got this feeling of faith and closeness in her heart, and she knew. She would never doubt this.
From then on, she was nothing but smiles. He was more than she could ever have imagined.
And that’s the story of how she became the luckiest girl in the world.
I wish i could go back and change my past. I feel as though it haunts me all the time. And every where i look, there it is.
I am getting tired of some people in my life, not really understanding why they put themselves in certain situations.
I am learning that you can reach any goal you set, but you really have to want it.
I wish more people saw and understood the important things in life.
I am truly blessed and thankful for it.
Some people don’t understand what sacrifices are and why you must make them.
There are some people in my life who take for granted so many things.
As i get older, i see the life i want to have. Sometimes i get impatient. I just want my kids and career already.
Sometimes i get sad for no reason, like not extremely sad, just down. And i don’t really know or understand why, because i am happy and love my life right now.
I want to take myself out of the situation that i am in. That’s where my frustration comes from.
I should write more.
I want to be more vocal with my deeper emotions.
I really love my boyfriend. And his family. They are amazing too. That’s a family i could be around for the rest of my life.
I want to be closer to God. I should be. I feel as though i wasn’t focusing on Him for a while.
I am really insecure about where i am in college, i should be a true senior. I should have tried harder before. But nothing i can do now, but try my absolute hardest.
That’s about it.